Self-Indulgey

So it's been a while since the last blog, my new years resolution of blogging 3 times a week is clearly going really well for me, round of applause please.

So to get things going again here is a blog about something that may or may not muster rage from deep within you.

Let's set the scene, it's a week day night, we'll say around 9pm. You're tired, grumpy, and let's face it, look a little bit like shit. You've been working all day, your make up is half wiped off your face, your mascara has done that thing where it looks like it's decaying under your eyes, and your hair is tied up in what a friend of mine likes to call a 'donkey bollock' on top of your head. If you're anything like me you're wearing baggy grey tracksuit bottoms, a baggy t-shirt (one that could substitute as a tent for a family of 4) and slippers my Grandmother would turn her nose up at.

Which is why, it BAFFLES me, that when I log into my Facebook or swipe through my Instagram feed at this time, that at least one person will have uploaded a selfie of themselves; make up in tact, pout perfected, cleavage out and stating  how 'rough' they look, likely followed by a 'haha' to just highlight how utterly hilarious the situation is.

You don't look rough. You know you don't look rough. You also know you don't look rough because of the groupies that will then continue to comment and condone this behavior by making remarks such as 'no you don't babe <3' or 'gorgeous as ever'. If I tried to do something similar on a Wednesday night, donkey bollock standing tall, I can imagine comments would be more along the lines of 'WHY GOD WHY?!?!' or 'Who's the old woman?'.

Now I'm not bitter (I am, I clearly am) that some girls can maintain a high standard of care for themselves throughout the day without a hair moving out of place or a slight nipple slip from their strategically low cut top, however my question is where does this relentless energy to look sexy all the time come from?? And to be quite honest.... why?!

Now I joke about my coming in from work and morphing into something that should be living under a bridge guarding it from goats, but it's honestly as if the moment I step in the front door my clothes suddenly morph into some form of skin irritant and I just have to quickly be in my tent top. It's my happy place.

Maybe it's a different mind set, or maybe I am just bloody lazy. However some peoples constant perseverance for perfection and appreciation really makes me ask and wonder their motives behind it. It's the girl who has taken a selfie from her bed about to 'doze off', still with fake eyelashes on. It's the girl in the gym sweating it out on the tread mill, but also sweating out her just applied foundation and eyeliner. It's the girl dressed to the nines, taking a selfie of herself looking 'sad' at a FUNERAL. WHO ACTUALLY DOES THAT AT A FUNERAL?! (There is genuinely a tumblr page dedicated to these people).

There could be many reasons for this, it could be because of that slight high we get when we try with our appearance, knowing we look good and get that glorious inebriated feeling, and this could just be how they want to feel all the time (it is nice to feel nice after all). It could be something more deep rooted and a signifier of the pressure we can feel from the media, being constantly surrounded by air brushed celebrities who look flawless on the mail online being 'caught' going to the shops. I mean, I hate it when I'm caught going to Lidl in a full face of make-up, having just got a spray tan and my hair done, so bloody awkward when I just look so dam good.

If it is because of external pressures that some girls feel the need to flaunt themselves as this constantly sexier than Jessica Rabbit persona, then IT is a sad fact of today that females feel under pressure to prove their worth by seeking for these social media highs. There is no harm in looking good and wanting to share it with the world, you aren't hurting anybody. However, if you do do it just for the simple fact that you know you look good, maybe you have an ex boyfriend that you want to show what he's missing (imagine that in a sassy voice please), or maybe you're just quite vain, then if you're going to do it STOP lying to everyone. The fact you've posted the picture shows that  you don't think you look as rough as you've stated. You're clearly a confident person, so why not just go the whole hog and say 'it's 9 pm and I've still made the effort to look as good as I did when I woke up this morning". If not then please stop inundating my time line with your lies.

If you are one of these culprits, this genuinely was not meant to offend you. It was just an attempt to clarify why some people feel the need to do this, and to maybe reinstate that you don't need to. Without risk of sounding like a life coach, girls do not not need to be sexy ALL the time, but if you feel the need to do so and also promote it, then perhaps ask yourself why?

"Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants".

See the title quote above and tell me, what kind of emotions and feelings does this bring to surface? Agreement? Rage? Upset? Revelation?

At first with me it was rage, but at the same time I was unsurprised. I have an extremely 'Marmite' relationship with the weird and slightly offensive persona of Karl Lagerfeld. On some levels I think he's brilliant, moving Chanel forward and bringing it into this century rather than leaving it where Coco left off. However from time to time he let's something slip that eptimises everything that showcases the fashion industry as materialistic, vain and venomous.

The quote above does exactly that, now,  just because we don't all walk around in the same 3 piece suit and dark glasses (which KL once described as his 'burka', if want a fine example of his political incorrectness) doesn't mean that when we slack on the style every once in a while we have completely lost control. KL is a man I can never picture wearing pyjamas. Try it, can you picture KL snuggling down in a pairs of PJ's? Nope, because I'm pretty sure he sleeps in a coffin, wearing that suit.

This is probably coming across as if I have some kind of vendetta against KL. I would like to emphasis that I  really don't, I just don't like the snobbery that lines his opinions and thoughts, and them imposes on the general public. Another favorite KL quote slap is where he exclaimed that he 'did not like'  Pippa Middleton's face, and that she should 'only show her back'. It just highlights why so many people are scared of or view people in fashion in a poor light. Even I was worried before studying it, I thought the whole industry was going to be full of catty, skinny snobs that wouldn't give me the time of day because I mainly buy from Primark, occasionally splurging on Topshop... but that really isn't the case.

Some of the nicest, most advantageous and creative individuals I have met are within fashion, and I'm pretty sure they own a pair of  sweatpants joggers (I can't type sweatpants anymore, I'm aware I'm not American). Genius as his collections may be, KL is not only inexplicably wrong with his joggers comment, but I would also like to point out that not everyone within the fashion will bare the same thoughts as him, so don't let it put you off. He is not a sign that fashion creatives are people to be avoided, just as much as joggers are not a sign of defeat. 

Now is one hour ten minutes left of work, and then I am going to go home, make a cup of tea and put on my comfy joggers. NOT because I have lost control or given up, but because they are dam comfortable and a representation of us all not needing to care about show at some point in our life.

23 Goldies

So this weekend something pretty big took place, something I never thought would happen and something I am finding hard to admit to myself. Friends reading this, no, it wasn't falling asleep on a strangers shoulder whilst taking the night bus home after one too many tequila shots on Saturday night (yes, that happened, and if by some chance you're reading this man of the night bus, your shoulder was a fantastic substitute for a pillow) but it was in fact the scary truth that I turned the grand old age of 23.

Now, I'm fully aware that 23 is not exactly what people might call 'old', but it is what I would like to call the age of purgatory. You don't feel old enough or ready enough to do anything serious, yet you aren't young enough to carry on making excuses to avoid doing exactly that.

So as I woke up this morning, bleary eyed, somehow still slightly hungover and wondering why on earth I didn't settle for being unemployed... I decided to research into 23 stylish older ladies (or 'Goldie's', as I've labelled them) who have aged with both style and grace, to prove to all of you who may be going through the same quarter life crisis as me that, maybe growing old doesn't have to be so bad...

(I'd have love to put pictures up, but my computer has fallen out with me. So Google it.)

1. Iris Apfel (A really life Edna Mode) 92
2.  Diane Sawyer (Pretty convinced she is an illusion or a robot to look this good at almost 70) 67
3. Sophia Coppola (Looks younger than me) 42
4. Helen Mirren (Not sure my Grandma could carry pink hair quite as well) 68
5. Elle Macpherson (Again, another youth illusion or robot) 49
6. Nioami Campbell (Even her age is too afraid of her to kick in) 43
7. Tamara Mellon (Mainly on this list for having such a great name, really rolls of the tongue) 46
8. Elaine Stritch (She just looks so sassy, owning that waking stick) 88
9. Mary Berry (As if she wasn't going to be on this list, plus who eats that much cake and isn't the size of a small rhino?) 78
10. Judi Dench (A national treasure) 79
11. Isabella Rossellini (Another robot) 61
12. Meryl Streep (Shouldn't even have to back this one up) 64
13. Julia Roberts (Big Notting Hill fan) 46
14. Kate Winslett (Read Glamour this month, speaks for itself) 38
15. Sandra Bullock (She's just so lovable?) 49
16. Glenn Close  (Two words, Fatal Attraction) 66
17. Eva Longoria (This woman probably wouldn't have to put too much effort into turning me) 38
18. Eva Mendes (See above, clearly something about Eva) 39
19. Jennifer Aniston (#TEAMJEN) 44
20. Cameron Diaz  (If you saw her skipping in the film 'Gambit', you'd understand) 41
21. Charlize Theron  (She joins the Eva's on the turning me front) 38
22. Halle Berry (Since when was she almost 50?!) 47
23. Carolyn Parsons (Couldn't not put my own mother in, the wee blond bombshell) 50
 

Baby Becks'

So 10 days into the New Year and I am finally starting my new year’s resolution of posting more blogs, better late than never is a phrase that is probably most apt here.

 

I’ve been mulling over the past 10 days what would be best to begin my sparkly new blogging persona with. What would be the best thing to write about to really get the ball rolling, and get people thinking YES this girls not only knows how to write AND she knows what she is talking about.

 

Would it be to do with prejudice within fashion? Would it be to do with the new original collections showcased at London Collections in Menswear? Would I perhaps really break writing boundaries and somehow link fashion with current affairs filling our newspapers today.... the big freeze in America? Political instability?Benefit fraud?..............

 

 

...................................... So here is a little piece about national treasure, David Beckham.

 

David Beckham, the man who has taken the two F’s by storm, football and fashion, is now launching a ‘mini-me’line along his H&M collection. Yes ladies and gentlemen, your son can now look as stylish as golden balls himself.

 

The collection will generally reflect his adult collection, being relaxed in style but also having a vintage sportswear as a key inspiration behind it (so really, just picture the adult wear but as if you’ve put it on too hotter wash in the machine). The collection for the baby becks’ will mainly consists of Henley tops, long johns, shirts and vests.

 

The S/S ‘14 campaign will be launched on the 2nd of February during the US super bowl, where an abundance of females and more than likely males will be tuning in to witness golden balls Becks performing‘impressive stunts’ in just his underwear, the marketing genius behind that campaign should most definitely get a pay rise.

 

The collection is extremely minimalistic, setting itself apart from a lot of clothes for young boys out at the moment that portrays pictures of diggers, dinosaurs and footballs, creating a more chic form of style for the tiny gentlemen. However, for a children’s collection It is slightly colourless and lacks character that children’s clothing should have on some level. Childhood isprobably one of the few times in many of our lives that we won’t care and it doesn’t matter what we wear, so let’s try and not lose that.

Spot The Difference...

There appears to be outrage spiraling through the fashion sections of online media this today, as it has been confirmed that a 2011 cover shoot for 'Flare' magazine (Never heard of it? Nope, me neither) of Jennifer Lawrence appears to have been Photoshopped...... Shock. Horror.

Now, I don't know if any of you can sense my sarcasm there, and if you did you're either a close friend of mine I've badgered to read this ,or, you are just as perplexed as I am as to why this revelation that magazines Photoshop images is suddenly a shock?
Firstly I am going to let you make your own judgement as to whether you think J-Law has undergone serious surgery or just a wee nip and tuck, see the link below for the before and after shots....

 http://31.media.tumblr.com/fc102cdefe8ef12581ed788573d3caa2/tumblr_mgy8i33akg1s405ijo1_250.gif

Now I don't want anyone to mis-translate what I am saying. I do not think that anything about J-Laws original image needed to be changed, I think she is a fantastic role model for young girls with regards to her image and fully back her outspoken and strong minded opinions on the pressure that is put on young women today with their body image. However, I also do not think that J-Law has been transformed into a completely different person here (the mail online is making out like she's metamorphsied into a twig) and think if anything she should be offended that people have actually believe there to be such a grand adjustment taken place. Yes, they may have smoothed the waist EVER so slightly and defined some features, but she still looks as breathtaking as she does in the original image. To the point where I personally have difficulty telling the difference. 

Not only is the tweaking of this photo very slight, but let's be honest, we all do it if we can. I would like to know how many of the people who are demanding civil war over the changes of this photo have ever Instagramed a photo of themselves and filtered it to look flawless, or brightened the colouring of their Facebook photos to give themselves a healthy glow (I'll put my hands up, I do both). We all tweak and change images of ourselves to some extent, and for a publication that makes it business on imagery to make some tiny adjustment, I think can be forgiven.

So what's your opinion on the great Photoshop debate? Should J-Law be so outraged by these moderation's she should pursuit lawsuit? Or, do you think that it was almost 2 years ago now, and I'm not sure I even see a difference?

Scrunch Up

When my best friend once arrived in my presence wearing her hair tied up with a big bulging scrunchie, I firstly thought for a second I had been catipulted into an episode of 'Saved by the Bell', and then I proceeded to laugh a lot.

However, looks like she had the last laugh as a couple months later I was in exactly the position, and had a close friend laughing at me whilst repeatedly calling me 'quirky' pointing at what was tied on top of my head. I then tried to defend my beloved bouffant hair tie with similar lines that my friend had said to me whilst I had been raucously laughing at her. Ones such as "they are just so much softer on my hair!" failed to slide with my mate, and I progressively gave up.

She just loves scrunchies (almost imposed your face onto this, Joanne Pilkington).

However, despite myself having been both laughing and being laughed at, the scrunchie is top of the come back charts within fashion for 2013. With quite a few 20 somethings and older donning the retro accessory to hold back their locks, it's time to look back on what brought the 80s back without looking like you were dressing up for a themed party too much. With an array of celebrities, designers and the general public sporting the scrunchie, maybe it's about time we all let go of our hang ups for this elasticated gem and put our hair up with it instead.... here's to moving the scrunchie forward to 2014

Want to help the scrunchy motion? Look below for where you can get yours.. (you can even buy them in co-op)

http://store.americanapparel.net/rsa0504.html

http://www.saress.com/shop/scrunchies-3/

Commuter Chic?

You'll spy this on most commuter routes nowadays... and it's one of my pet hates. Men, and quite a few women, switch their patent kitten heels and shiny office shoes for a more practical option to support sprinting from the tube at two minutes to 9 to the office... the blessed trainer.

Now, whenever I've looked at this pairing on the tube early in the morning, I'm ashamed to say I'm more willing it to fall down the gap rather than mind it. However, a shoe designer has finally cottoned onto this formidable ensemble, in an attempt to modernize the look and cash in on the growing commuter trend.

Nike have paired with kooky design duo Agi and Sam (my fave fellas) to create a pair of Nike Air Max that celebrate Transport For London's 150th anniversary. Each style features rectangles of orange, brown, gold and black, with tonal beige (Air Max 90s) or black accents (Air Max 1s), and the signature Roundal (the London Underground symbol) on the tongue.

They aren't exactly the most the inconspicuous of trainer choice, especially if you are actually wanting to hide the fact you swapped your office foot for a pair of Nike lace ups early that morning, but if you dare to be bold they could be deemed as a great way to bring some style into your daily commuter outfit, and would certainly be a more cheerful form of footwear for your fellow commuters to stare at bleary eyed that morning.

Fancy grabbing yourself a pair? Jump on either the Bakerloo or Piccadilly Lines to Piccadilly Circus Tube station on 14 December, where 150 pairs will go on sale at 6am at Nike's pop-up kiosk in the ticket hall concourse.