A Mystic Meg Moment

For the previous nine months it’s been hard trying to picture where I’m going to be in the upcoming 6 weeks, let alone 6 months. If my Boris Bike adventure (adventure makes the venture sound a lot more playful – in reality it was closer to a journey of merciless peril) is anything to go by, it’ll be into an early grave,  with the taxi driver whom I rendered into a cardiac arrest dancing all over it.

However, despite my inability to look into the future as accurately or with hair as good as Mystic Meg, I have been fortunate enough to gain insight into what array of trends you could be donning in the upcoming 6 months.

Thanks to the friendly folk at Avenue 32, I bring to you the top 10 trends to look out for the next season. Sadly I can’t predict anything that has more of an impact on your life other than what you might be wearing, however it’s the best I can offer (the only other thing I can definitely predict is you won’t be finding me on a Boris Bike around Islington anytime soon – Taxi drivers of London you can breathe a sigh of relief)…

 

1)      Team America

Evolving from the lux sportswear that has been trending this season, it’s time to pick a side and them then on whether it’s wearing a basketball vest or baseball top next season.

 

2)      All Faux One and One Faux All

With fur being such a marmite topic in fashion, you’re either covering every inch of your body in it, or tipping the red paint over it (the fur not your body), however, next season fashion is playing it safe with having faux fur take to the stage. Not a fan of the counterfeit feel? Well rumour has it the synthetics used to create the faux fur has developed so significantly it leads to the illusion of real fur- with no animals being harmed in the making. Lovely.

 

3)      Tarte Tartan

From traditional to abstract, artistic license to British Heritage, tartan is being hit at from all angles next season. So whether you’re punk or proper – you can make of it what you will.

 

4)      Song of Folk and Fable

Think the tales of Brothers Grimm… its Hansel and Gretel meet the designers such as Temperly, however hopefully more

 

5)      Sweet and Sour

Being an advocate for colour it’s a relief to see some vibrant eye candy sauntering down next seasons runways, with sultry sweet and vivid tones, these opposing attributes will provide both warmth and spirit to next season’s looks.

 

6)      That 70’s Show

Time to look in retro-spect. This isn’t playing the game of dress up though, apparently the 70s look for this season is a sexy one (So not your typical image of your Dad in flared trousers, sorry to conjure that).

 

7)      Knit-Wit

It’s set to be the new statement piece for next season. As much as this information may send a buzz of excitement through you – with the prospect of being in fashion AND in warmth, it may very well also put you in debt with the knitted masterpieces setting you back between 700-1200.

 

8)      The New Normal

If you’re a regular reader of this little blog (hello Mum, Pilks and Hardy) then you’ll be fully up to scratch on what the trend of ‘Normcore’ is (just scroll down if not). Quick 101 though, it’s the idea of dressing down (shaving off some minutes getting ready in the morning) and blending into the crowd. It’s casual camouflage.

 

9)      To Infinity and Beyond

Completely opposing the trend of normcore discussed above, inter-galactic is also set to hit the shops next season. I always did like Buzz Lightyear

 

10)   Black is the New…. Black?

Mainly focused as an evening trend, black is making a comeback.

If any of you feel the need to get ahead of the game on next seasons trends then search Avenue 32 (http://www.avenue32.com/) hosting an array of designers that will offer something you keeping with these trends. In the meantime you’ll find me dressed in my space suit in preparation for the upcoming season; I feel this trend is the one that will wear better against the roads of Islington whilst aboard my Boris Bike.

The Normcore Movement.

For years fashion has been an extrovert and outlandish realm, it’s always been about turning those heated bulbs of the spotlights and making sure they focus on you. If you look back to my very first blog post, I mention that at my first fashion week I witnessed one girl standing in the middle of the entrance to Somerset House, in the most ridiculous outfit she could clearly pull from designers whilst wearing shoes with platforms so big you could start building the foundations to a small house with them... but all eyes were on her. It was a battle of the bloggers to get her picture, with brawls and riots taking place to get to her. So I just stood back and merged into the background, in my charity shop bought shirt and wax jacket, kind of hoping that if I tried hard enough I’d eventually merge with the bricks behind me. Having never been one for show (I used to make my mum park round the corner from my school when she dropped me off, as our car was a red that was so vibrant animals actually ran away from it) yet having always been interested in fashion, I have often wondered where I can buy this jarred self-confidence from.  However, little did I know then when I was trying to become half girl, half wall that I could soon count myself as part of a new fashion movement slowly taking over known as ‘normcore’. 

I’ve googled extensively where the name ‘normcore’ actually came from for this emerging trend. Is it a combination of normal and encore? Or a way of expressing being normal from your very core? Nobody actually knows, and It’s a pretty shit word. I find it hard to take a motion seriously when the name sounds like it’s been put together by people just shouting words at each other and hoping for the best. However, the idea of ‘normcore’ is the idea of blending in. It’s about the rejection of the exhibition that fashion can lead us to and becoming a ‘blank canvas’..... It’s so uncool, it’s cool. It’s function over fashion, it’s choosing to not make a statement so much so that you are making one…. make any sense? 

What is it that makes ‘normcore’ what it is then? Think your Dad dressed for doing house jobs on a Saturday. It’s about the non descript, the completely ordinary, the un obvious and the practical. For example of this idea slowly seeping it’s way into fashion; heels are a out this season, and there is nothing more fashionable than keeping your foot horizontal. As Stella McCartney delicately puts “there is something about having the confidence to wear a shoe that is not 10 inches tall that sends a message” and that sums up normcore, it’s having the confidence to not have to be extravagant and far out in an industry that relies on being so, and it’s that that proves just how fashionable you actually are. 

With fashion being a pretty fickle industry, where majority it’s not what you know it’s who you know and what you wear, it’s somewhat refreshing for a movement to be going forward that focuses on substance over style rather than the other way round. In an age where the idea of ‘fashion’ has become overwhelmingly popular, where we are drowning in celebrity endorsements and trends, style has become what I like to call ‘photocopy fashion'... we just reproduce it rather than discover it.

However the movement of normcore opposes this. It’s the same as how minimalism came about as a reaction to abstract expressionism, just because you don’t paint the most intricate picture doesn’t mean you appreciate the subject any less. It’s more than a fashion trend, it’s a remark on the idea of fashion itself, and sewing the seeds that perhaps you don’t need to be obviously fashionable to actually appreciate it.

Birkenstock is footwear brand of the year, Veronika Heilbrunner regularly wears running tops and nike socks, and Steve Jobs is a normcore icon. It may have a uninspiring title, but the concept itself is the total opposite, and turns the idea of fashion on top of itself. Making me wonder not am I fashionable enough to be in this industry.... but am I normal enough to prove my worth?

So move over Lady Gaga in your carcass adorned dress and shift aside that peachy bum Kimmy K and your Louboutin dressed feet; and hello Adidas socks, hello black polo necks, hello comfortable footwear.... and welcome to fashion. 

Who Wears Short Shorts...

With his new album released yesterday and just for being possibly one of the coolest human beings to walk this tiny planet, what better person to dedicate this latest blog entry to than none other than Anton Bruhin. 

Jokes it's Pharrell. 

Musician, producer and fashion marvel Pharrell has proved himself to be a well rounded individual, he also appears to have discovered the secret to eternal youth, having reached the age of 40 with barely a crinkle to spy. 

As well as being a muscially talented and slick looking individual, Pharrell appears to be seeking to somewhat of a trendsetter. Not only does he have a illustrious hat collection for people to cotton on, but 

he is also partial to the tailored short suit.

Before we move on to the tailored short, let's just browse through some of Pharrells finer pieces from his noggin warmer assortment. 

The most recent addition, when seen from a distance tricks you into thinking 'by god! we appear to be near a small mountain range"

 

 

 

 

He looks like a fluffy pink cloud. Look at him ponder.

He just basically suits any hat.

ANY hat

Even if it has daisies on it.

Despite being a massive fan of the man himself and his versatile head, the tailored short is something i'm yet to be swung by as a whole....

 

 

You know that scene in 'Mean Girls' where they cut the boobs out of Regina's top? Well it's like someones gone and done something similar to Pharrell's trousers, and he's just gone 'meh'.

 

So where has this look sprung from? Is this something that is going to become more prominent in menswear as a whole? Tailored shorts is something that has already been on the runways, they featured heavily in Richard James SS'13 show in an array of dazzling colours. They also appeard in Junya Watanabe SS'13 collection as well as Raf Simons. However, it appears the tailored short suit is something that struggled to hit the ground running as there has been very little evidence of other leading male marvels jumping onto this bandwagon. Sadly it's still not aproppiate for office settings, as much as all the 50 somethings that work in my office would be able to pull it off, but in my eyes it is too bigger adaption on the suit for people to ride with. The suit is really the definition and signifier of a gentleman, which is hard to convey to someone when they are being distracted by your knobbly knees. 

We won't be seeing it in our work environments anytime soon and it should probably keep off the red carpet (imagine the burn if you fell), however hats off to Pharrell (get the link there?) for once again trying to push against fashion conformities. 

Love ya always though Pharrell. 

Red Carpet Run-Down: Brit Awards 2014

With the Brit awards fresh in the tabloids today I thought it would be both appropriate and predictable to base this post on nothing other than the event itself. 

I wasn't there, obviously. However thanks to the delights of social media, and predominantly the mail online, it's almost as if I was. 

The evening appeared to be filled with fire, Beyonce, James Cordon making every situation where he was interacting with other human beings extremely awkward and of course, some magnificent and mildly disturbing clothing choices showcased on the red carpet. 

For designers, having one of their pieces on the red carpet is extremely important. Even more so is getting it to attract the right amount of media attention, at a bid to broaden the body of potential clientel and gain the brand further recognition as an established label. The sad aspect of this whole process is that a designer could put a lot of funding and hours into creating these original one off pieces for the celebirty to potentially not even have them worn. The celebrity will have an abundance of designers doing the same thing for them, so will be spoilt for choice. Tough life hey?

With this in mind it all begins to make sense. When you look at celebrities sauntering down the red carpet in something that resembles Brighton pier, it makes you realize why some go to such extreme lengths to make their work stand out, Is it really about using their creative license to their full potential, or all about winning? Even those who are at the forefront of fashion still have to bare their teeth and fight to gain acceptance, when we all may have been thinking they'd just been smoking something funky and then let loose on a sewing machine. 

The Brits last night was no exception, and to highlight this here are 10 outfits that stood out for me the most at the Brits (followed by my thoughts to what the design could have potentially be based on)....

1. Fearne Cotton

 

This cheese grater.

2. Foxes

 

This flamboyant lamp.

3. Laura Mvula

 

These tasty looking meringues. 

4. Katy B

 

This net bag of tomatoes. 

5. Laura Whitmore

 

This six pack of Christmas tree decorations.

6. Rita Ora

 

This exotic minion.

7. Ellie Goulding 

 

This oil painting.

8. Jessie J

 

This jazzy chimney.

9. Lily Allen

 

This feather duster.

10. Myleene Klass

This drawstring bag.

(Amazing some of the things you can muster inspiration from)

Self-Indulgey

So it's been a while since the last blog, my new years resolution of blogging 3 times a week is clearly going really well for me, round of applause please.

So to get things going again here is a blog about something that may or may not muster rage from deep within you.

Let's set the scene, it's a week day night, we'll say around 9pm. You're tired, grumpy, and let's face it, look a little bit like shit. You've been working all day, your make up is half wiped off your face, your mascara has done that thing where it looks like it's decaying under your eyes, and your hair is tied up in what a friend of mine likes to call a 'donkey bollock' on top of your head. If you're anything like me you're wearing baggy grey tracksuit bottoms, a baggy t-shirt (one that could substitute as a tent for a family of 4) and slippers my Grandmother would turn her nose up at.

Which is why, it BAFFLES me, that when I log into my Facebook or swipe through my Instagram feed at this time, that at least one person will have uploaded a selfie of themselves; make up in tact, pout perfected, cleavage out and stating  how 'rough' they look, likely followed by a 'haha' to just highlight how utterly hilarious the situation is.

You don't look rough. You know you don't look rough. You also know you don't look rough because of the groupies that will then continue to comment and condone this behavior by making remarks such as 'no you don't babe <3' or 'gorgeous as ever'. If I tried to do something similar on a Wednesday night, donkey bollock standing tall, I can imagine comments would be more along the lines of 'WHY GOD WHY?!?!' or 'Who's the old woman?'.

Now I'm not bitter (I am, I clearly am) that some girls can maintain a high standard of care for themselves throughout the day without a hair moving out of place or a slight nipple slip from their strategically low cut top, however my question is where does this relentless energy to look sexy all the time come from?? And to be quite honest.... why?!

Now I joke about my coming in from work and morphing into something that should be living under a bridge guarding it from goats, but it's honestly as if the moment I step in the front door my clothes suddenly morph into some form of skin irritant and I just have to quickly be in my tent top. It's my happy place.

Maybe it's a different mind set, or maybe I am just bloody lazy. However some peoples constant perseverance for perfection and appreciation really makes me ask and wonder their motives behind it. It's the girl who has taken a selfie from her bed about to 'doze off', still with fake eyelashes on. It's the girl in the gym sweating it out on the tread mill, but also sweating out her just applied foundation and eyeliner. It's the girl dressed to the nines, taking a selfie of herself looking 'sad' at a FUNERAL. WHO ACTUALLY DOES THAT AT A FUNERAL?! (There is genuinely a tumblr page dedicated to these people).

There could be many reasons for this, it could be because of that slight high we get when we try with our appearance, knowing we look good and get that glorious inebriated feeling, and this could just be how they want to feel all the time (it is nice to feel nice after all). It could be something more deep rooted and a signifier of the pressure we can feel from the media, being constantly surrounded by air brushed celebrities who look flawless on the mail online being 'caught' going to the shops. I mean, I hate it when I'm caught going to Lidl in a full face of make-up, having just got a spray tan and my hair done, so bloody awkward when I just look so dam good.

If it is because of external pressures that some girls feel the need to flaunt themselves as this constantly sexier than Jessica Rabbit persona, then IT is a sad fact of today that females feel under pressure to prove their worth by seeking for these social media highs. There is no harm in looking good and wanting to share it with the world, you aren't hurting anybody. However, if you do do it just for the simple fact that you know you look good, maybe you have an ex boyfriend that you want to show what he's missing (imagine that in a sassy voice please), or maybe you're just quite vain, then if you're going to do it STOP lying to everyone. The fact you've posted the picture shows that  you don't think you look as rough as you've stated. You're clearly a confident person, so why not just go the whole hog and say 'it's 9 pm and I've still made the effort to look as good as I did when I woke up this morning". If not then please stop inundating my time line with your lies.

If you are one of these culprits, this genuinely was not meant to offend you. It was just an attempt to clarify why some people feel the need to do this, and to maybe reinstate that you don't need to. Without risk of sounding like a life coach, girls do not not need to be sexy ALL the time, but if you feel the need to do so and also promote it, then perhaps ask yourself why?

"Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants".

See the title quote above and tell me, what kind of emotions and feelings does this bring to surface? Agreement? Rage? Upset? Revelation?

At first with me it was rage, but at the same time I was unsurprised. I have an extremely 'Marmite' relationship with the weird and slightly offensive persona of Karl Lagerfeld. On some levels I think he's brilliant, moving Chanel forward and bringing it into this century rather than leaving it where Coco left off. However from time to time he let's something slip that eptimises everything that showcases the fashion industry as materialistic, vain and venomous.

The quote above does exactly that, now,  just because we don't all walk around in the same 3 piece suit and dark glasses (which KL once described as his 'burka', if want a fine example of his political incorrectness) doesn't mean that when we slack on the style every once in a while we have completely lost control. KL is a man I can never picture wearing pyjamas. Try it, can you picture KL snuggling down in a pairs of PJ's? Nope, because I'm pretty sure he sleeps in a coffin, wearing that suit.

This is probably coming across as if I have some kind of vendetta against KL. I would like to emphasis that I  really don't, I just don't like the snobbery that lines his opinions and thoughts, and them imposes on the general public. Another favorite KL quote slap is where he exclaimed that he 'did not like'  Pippa Middleton's face, and that she should 'only show her back'. It just highlights why so many people are scared of or view people in fashion in a poor light. Even I was worried before studying it, I thought the whole industry was going to be full of catty, skinny snobs that wouldn't give me the time of day because I mainly buy from Primark, occasionally splurging on Topshop... but that really isn't the case.

Some of the nicest, most advantageous and creative individuals I have met are within fashion, and I'm pretty sure they own a pair of  sweatpants joggers (I can't type sweatpants anymore, I'm aware I'm not American). Genius as his collections may be, KL is not only inexplicably wrong with his joggers comment, but I would also like to point out that not everyone within the fashion will bare the same thoughts as him, so don't let it put you off. He is not a sign that fashion creatives are people to be avoided, just as much as joggers are not a sign of defeat. 

Now is one hour ten minutes left of work, and then I am going to go home, make a cup of tea and put on my comfy joggers. NOT because I have lost control or given up, but because they are dam comfortable and a representation of us all not needing to care about show at some point in our life.

23 Goldies

So this weekend something pretty big took place, something I never thought would happen and something I am finding hard to admit to myself. Friends reading this, no, it wasn't falling asleep on a strangers shoulder whilst taking the night bus home after one too many tequila shots on Saturday night (yes, that happened, and if by some chance you're reading this man of the night bus, your shoulder was a fantastic substitute for a pillow) but it was in fact the scary truth that I turned the grand old age of 23.

Now, I'm fully aware that 23 is not exactly what people might call 'old', but it is what I would like to call the age of purgatory. You don't feel old enough or ready enough to do anything serious, yet you aren't young enough to carry on making excuses to avoid doing exactly that.

So as I woke up this morning, bleary eyed, somehow still slightly hungover and wondering why on earth I didn't settle for being unemployed... I decided to research into 23 stylish older ladies (or 'Goldie's', as I've labelled them) who have aged with both style and grace, to prove to all of you who may be going through the same quarter life crisis as me that, maybe growing old doesn't have to be so bad...

(I'd have love to put pictures up, but my computer has fallen out with me. So Google it.)

1. Iris Apfel (A really life Edna Mode) 92
2.  Diane Sawyer (Pretty convinced she is an illusion or a robot to look this good at almost 70) 67
3. Sophia Coppola (Looks younger than me) 42
4. Helen Mirren (Not sure my Grandma could carry pink hair quite as well) 68
5. Elle Macpherson (Again, another youth illusion or robot) 49
6. Nioami Campbell (Even her age is too afraid of her to kick in) 43
7. Tamara Mellon (Mainly on this list for having such a great name, really rolls of the tongue) 46
8. Elaine Stritch (She just looks so sassy, owning that waking stick) 88
9. Mary Berry (As if she wasn't going to be on this list, plus who eats that much cake and isn't the size of a small rhino?) 78
10. Judi Dench (A national treasure) 79
11. Isabella Rossellini (Another robot) 61
12. Meryl Streep (Shouldn't even have to back this one up) 64
13. Julia Roberts (Big Notting Hill fan) 46
14. Kate Winslett (Read Glamour this month, speaks for itself) 38
15. Sandra Bullock (She's just so lovable?) 49
16. Glenn Close  (Two words, Fatal Attraction) 66
17. Eva Longoria (This woman probably wouldn't have to put too much effort into turning me) 38
18. Eva Mendes (See above, clearly something about Eva) 39
19. Jennifer Aniston (#TEAMJEN) 44
20. Cameron Diaz  (If you saw her skipping in the film 'Gambit', you'd understand) 41
21. Charlize Theron  (She joins the Eva's on the turning me front) 38
22. Halle Berry (Since when was she almost 50?!) 47
23. Carolyn Parsons (Couldn't not put my own mother in, the wee blond bombshell) 50